trouble trouble trouble

i think my life is one big fuckin mess right now.
i don't even know what - or who's real right now.
A is waiting to see me down in da dumps.
B is ruining my life.
C is just plain hypocritical.
D is killin me unknowinly (i can't really blame D).
I don't even know what E is tryin to do. (but it's not good)
I feel so fuckin guilty when I look at F, although he doesn't blame me.
G didn't keep his promises, and landed me in SHIT.
H. He's da worst of all. He's there to haunt me 24/7. Yeps, he made good his word.

and I. I. I. I got myself into this. And it's only right I face da consequences.

and I wanted to use J and K for stand-ins. That was fuckin evil and unfair.


i can't believe da amount of trouble i'm in. or if you would even call it trouble.
i even considered ditchin skool to escape all this.
dat was so incredibly stupid.
and my head's spinnin and spinnin.
i think i'm sick.
and i was thinkin things couldn't get worse.

cheap

i feel so fuckin cheap.

i'm going to hell.

definitely.

more pictures =)

okie dokie meow insisted i take a pic with my idol. oh well.


and i wasnt even ready for da cam yet.


and dat woman has been sneakin shots of me. this is all i can weasel outta her. one day i'm gonna delete everything frm her com. i swear.


she loves this one. i hate it.

i seek solace in food.

pictures =)

yeps, before fah kills me, i'm gonna upload all da pics =) ahha. happy alligator?

gettin into da halloween spirit:










thaiExpress:












da stupid doggie at suntec. almost got whacked by fah.


ah pek's ice-cream:



i made ten. ate two. almost puked out da two. threw away remainin eight. i can't cook for nuts.




newest addition to da bread family:










i want out.
but you're not lettin me go.
it's never that simple.

tough weeks

these few weeks have really taken a toll on me.
this is so much harder den i thought it would be.

but i'm not gonna give in.
i'm not gonna break down.
i'm not gonna cry.
not ever.


but i really dunno how much longer i can put on this stupid happy face for da whole world to see.

i think i need to get a freakin life.

please slap me.

five fkin words

yeps it's for da good of everyone. i'm aware of dat.

what she told me really hit me. like seriously. and now i've started to think back to what we used to do in da past. and although i can push it out of my mind pretty quickly, i can't help wonderin why why why i even think of it. i thought i was over all this.

look at what five fkin words can do.

half-dead

status: half-dead







rp is a god-damned fked up skool.
god please save me.




things are finally working out.

i guess you read my mind.

=)

me and ma baby

me and ma baby:


words i'm thinking of right now:
ikan
kuching
cincin
lelaki
perempuan
burung
comel
sederhana

okie i'm being completely nonsensical right now.

guys please take a step back. i'm out of this dating game.

lame joke

he asked me a question today.

him: what do you call someone who poisons your cornflakes?
me: what what what?
him: a cereal killer.
me: -______________-"'

and he seemed to find it incredibly hilarious.

lifehouse - breathing

another gorgeous song =) and yes, fah what i'm doin is totally manjen. but i dun care. hehe.

Lifehouse - Breathing
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the straps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be







i feel so low.
so very low.
things are gettin so much more complicated day by day.
this is takin way too long.
i might break any moment.

i can't laugh it off.
it simply isn't an option anymore.

ask myself.
people ask me to ask myself.
but it's pointless.
i'm all too familiar with da answer.

i don't know.

went out

went out. yes we spent da whole time eatin. omg.

okie i dunno what possessed me and meow, but we decided to eat breakie in da evening. wahahaha. pics pics pics below (:

eh-heh forgot to take pics of da toast


da broken eggs


da eggs (meow commented it looked like swill)


i will never EVER like manjen tea


couldn't figure out which sauce was which


and which one was salt and which one was pepper


ai so just whack only ah (: and we made everything taste TERRIBLE. i think we shld have stuck with this


and den we had rotiboy


check out da slogan.lol.


my roti boy was squashed


but fah's was perfect. argh.




and we had dinner. fah decided to have beef. whata beech.


look at it


da stupid bread dat was so hard even da knife had a difficult time. lol.


and onto bakin' boys




look at da gorgeous cookie. freak.




and we came across gorgeous artworks



















yeps, dat's it for pics =)
(and actually we ate somemore but if i post all of dat too, we're gonna seem like pigs)




ahha now more abt my day eh?

this week has been pretty eventful. good or bad, it's too early to tell i guess. but i'm so grateful to fah and meow for makin everything so bearable. meow and her book of spells, blessin her tarot cards. ahha. fah and her ben n jerry's. being frozen. dicky birds. if u dun understand, den nvm. internal joke. ahha. damn damn damn damn damn hilarious. it's so totally crazy i swear.

and i was bein such a beech today. and all of u still tolerated me. =) feel so freakin guilty. argh.

finally got my ass off da sofa and went for an interview. got da job. looks like i will be broke no longer. haha. it's abt time.

yeps, dat's abt it alligators.